Friday, February 23, 2007

How To Mix a Booty Bump

Booty bumps are easy to do - they rely on dissolving substances in water and then having the resulting solution being absorbed by the mucous membranes that line your rectum & large intestine.

Other than eliminating waste, the main function of the large intestine is to regulate the water content in your feces to prevent dehydration by re-absorbing the water out of your feces and back into the bloodstream.

Without this ability, you'd have diarrhea and would become dangerously dehydrated - Absorb too much water, and you have constipation. Its the ability to absorb water that makes a booty bump work soo well and so quickly. And since your not exhaling it like you do when you smoke - your not wasting any of that substance. Before you start you will need a few supplies:

1 - shot glass

1 - syringe or turkey baster

Depending on preference & availability - you will need to decide what kind of syringe you want to use - there basically 2 types:

Bulb-type syringe: This type uses a rubber bulb which is located at the end of the syringe (which isn't inserted up your ass) and uses suction & air pressure to force the fluids in & out of the syringe and up your ass.

2 examples of a bulb-type syringe are: An all-rubber pediatric bulb-syringe - Which is commonly used to draw mucous out of a baby or small child's nostrils - which has a cold, but doesn't know how to blow its nose yet. (Tell this to the pharmacist & they will help you find it without raising any eyebrows & it costs less then $5.00) and, A turkey baster - Which while a bit clumsy, does allow you to put the solution deeper up into your ass

Plunger-type syringe: This type pf syringe uses a plunger to draw the solution up into & to force it back out of the syringe & up into your ass. While not always as easy to buy as bulb syringes are - they offer better control & take less coordination to use, AND they can be purchased without a prescription IF you know what to ask for at your local pharmacy.

2 common examples are: A hypodermic needle (requires a prescription in most states) and, A 5cc-10cc pediatric syringe - which is commonly used to administer cough syrup to babies & small children, or to add solutions to an IV, or to inflate/deflate the fluid out of a foley catheter. This larger syringe doesn't come with a needle and can be bought at any of several locations without a prescription: a pharmacy (ask for a large syringe to give liquid cough medicine to a small child or baby), a gourmet cooking-supply store (ask for a flavor injector), a hardware store (to put glue into wood joints or for model-making) or at a Farm & Fleet type store (ask for veterinary supply's to give a pet doses of a liquid medicine)

Pick which ever type of syringe you prefer, or can lay your hands on.

Once You Have the Above

1st - grind/chop up the substance in question into as fine a powder as is possible - as the finer its ground up, the quicker it will dissolve into a solution... And then put the powder into the shot glass, preferably one with a heavy base (which is less likely to tip over & spill its contents) and add however much water you want to be putting up your ass.

Remember, that the more liquid you put up there - the longer it will take to that liquid to be absorbed into your bloodstream, and the more likely you are to possibly have some of that liquid dribble back out of your ass.

But on the other hand - if you use too little water - then you run the risk of the resulting solution being soo concentrated, that it might cause chemical burns on the tender mucous membrane tissues that line your rectum & large intestine - this can create abrasions that can allow HIV & any other STD to be easily transmitted.

BE PATIENT

Let the solution you've created sit until ALL the powdered substance that you want to put up your ass has dissolved COMPLETELY - Stirring if needed with a non-porous item such as a plastic martini toothpick, until the powder is completely dissolved* Once it has completely dissolved - the solution is ready to be used.

2nd - Take whatever kind of syringe you've chosen to use & draw the solution up into the syringe. If your using a bulb syringe take care not to let it tip over, as it might leak... If your using a plunger syringe - you don't have to worry about that... If you don't have either one of those available, you COULD use a hypodermic needle in a pinch - but once you've drawn the solution into it - you MUST break the needle off of the syringe as close to the plastic as is possible - However, I do NOT recommend this method - as the broken end of the needle is sharp & jagged & can cause cuts & scrapes in your anus & rectum.

3rd - Once the solution has been loaded into the syringe - go into your bedroom and get on your hands & knees on your bed... Then move forwards until you are partially off the bed, with your hands on the floor & your knees still on the mattress... Depending on the height of your bed, your back should be around a 45 degree angle - This will help keep the liquid your putting up your ass to stay in there, instead of dribbling back out.

If this position is too hard on your back, then drop your shoulders to the mattress & turn your head to the side, laying your head flat on the mattress.... and make yourself comfortable.

4th - If your using a bulb-syringe, or a turkey-baster or a pediatric cough syrup syringe - take it & place it as far as is comfortable up your anus & squeeze down on the bulb until you hear/feel the air start to come out of the syringe and go into your ass. Do NOT let up on the pressure on the bulb or it WILL draw the solution back up into the syringe/baster and defeat the purpose. Keeping the pressure on the bulb-syringe, clamp down with your anal muscles & pull it back out of your ass.

If your NOT using a bulb-type syringe and opt for a syringe that uses a plunger then stick it almost completely up your ass and once its in as deep as it will go without loosing your grip on it - then push the plunger in until you hit bottom. Then clamp down with your anus & pull the syringe back out of your ass - this will help prevent the solution from dripping back out.

5th - Stay in this 45-degree position for at least 5 mins, and by then if you've used a Tablespoon or less of water, it should have been completely absorbed by your system - However _ I wouldn't put anything up your ass for at least 30mins, just to be safe - otherwise you might accidentally pull the solution back out.

Congratulations - you've just successfully done your 1st booty bump !

Now - GO FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT !!!

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